Lately, I’ve heard gobs of people say something akin to, “Well, at least people are talking about it.” There have been a few events in the news, where people have proclaimed, “Hey it’s got everyone talking.” And then, we become desensitized. What was once radical has grown tame. Now, the next person has to up the provocative game.
Sure. Clearly everyone is talking about a gob of ‘How dare they’ events. But, what good does it do to get people talking about things, if they’re simply shouting at each other. Or, that such acts get them to dig their heels in deeper. Yes, there does come a point where discussions break down, and we can no longer find common ground… But what does that lead to then? When we reach such a point, often, the only viable option is that those who have a certain point of view just need to go away. Most often this means, beating them down enough, that they hide in the shadow, afraid to engage in constructive dialogue. Or for the more stubborn, perhaps, one must find more violent outlets to settle the matter.
But, ultimately our goals shouldn’t be simply to make those we disagree with go away. Don’t we really want to change hearts… Minds… Actions… I don’t know what many of our tactics hope to accomplish anymore, nor do I know any concrete ways to change hearts, but I do believe there a few tactics guaranteed to shut down any chance of meaningful dialogue. Yes these methods might get people to talk about issues, but they do not have the power to change minds. Here are 5 tactics that are guaranteed to shut down open discussion between opposing parties.
1. Saying there is a systemic problem with a particular group's culture. I’m not out to say there are no groups with systemic cultural issues. But the points of a group’s terribleness matters little, if you’re trying to create dialogue. You are not likely to change hearts by smashing them over the head with how everyone in that particular group is horrible just because they are in it. (No matter how strongly you believe it to be true.)
2. Insulting the intelligence of those of a certain point of view. If you ever start a conversation with, “I don’t understand how anyone can believe…” You’re almost guaranteed to shut down discussion with someone who believes it. Sure, the person who believes such and such, may not be that smart, or be ignorant, but telling people they’re stupid will do nothing but cause them to say something akin to, “I know you are, but what am I?”
3. Trampling on what others find sacred. I see people clinging to idols all the time. I definitely cling to my own. Yet, everyone holds something sacred. And, there are things we should hold sacred and things we shouldn’t. We just disagree about such things. Now, it’s one thing to say “I don’t find your object of reverence important,” it is completely another thing to smear it with manure. The only action trampling on a sacred object accomplishes is getting a reaction from opposition. Which, may be your purpose, but this untimely does nothing to encourage dialogue.
4. Reacting erratically/violently when others trample those things you hold sacred. People trample on truths I hold a sacred all the time. And, this doesn’t mean I shouldn’t defend those things, but reacting erratically often does more harm than good. In fact, our culture has come to celebrate irreverence. Don’t believe me? Check out how many books, movies, songs, etc. stamp on their front covers “Irreverent!” Or, how many artists boast about people protesting their works. They’ll likely say something along the lines, “Well, at least I got people talking about it.” Where in actuality, they are saying, “Yes. I made a lot of money and got a lot of attention because people are reacting so crazy.” Or… perhaps… there are certain people whom we wouldn’t and shouldn’t waste are breaths on, who have hoisted themselves to positions of influence solely because we’ve erratically responded to their trampling on those things we hold sacred.
5. Spouting beliefs without forming relationships. In this social media dominated world, it is so easy to spew out what’s wrong with certain groups, call people stupid, trample on the sacred, and overreact to insults. But, once you’ve formed concrete, lasting relationships with people of varying worldviews, it becomes harder to tell your close friends they’re idiots. In addition, you want them to change their hearts, because they are important to you. In turn, they want to change your heart, because you're important to them.
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