“That’s not a knife…” Pulls out a knife as long as my forearm. “Now that’s a knife.” An iconic line, from one of my favorite movies when I was younger. You know the movie?
Crocodile Dundee. Along with the crocodile-tooth banded hat and gator-skin vest, his knife was the one of those things every 80’s kid wanted. (I also wanted an Indiana Jones whip, but that is neither here nor there.) Another great iconic knife was the Rambo knife. Sharp blade on one side, jagged edge on the other. The guy could use it, and it alone, and survive for years out in the wild. Setting booby traps, hunting up some food, and sticking it to his enemies.
Thus, (letting my mind wander back to the 80’s like everyone else seems to be doing right now) one of the decades biggest fads was The Survivor knife. Here's the original ad. 12 inches--yes a full foot--of manliness. Razor sharp blade (so they said) on one side, and a jagged saw side on the other with some sort of notch near the handle. I never knew what that notch was for. I remember someone telling me it had something to do with fishing.
But wait… there was more. As if an entire foot of rough toughness wasn’t enough. At the end of the handle, the was a liquid precision compass, letting you know where you are and where you’re going. In addition, it came with the companion survival kit cleverly hidden within the handle of the knife.
What was in the kit? Why, everything you needed to survive. An emergency fishing kit. (Fishing string and some hooks.) A sewing repair kit. (When sewing stuff is inside a knife, then it becomes manly.) A survival cable saw. And Waterproof matches. Plus, they’d throw in a sheath with a sharpening stone.
Sharpening stones… I remember sitting on our front porch running a knife blade over sharpening stones for hours. There was something calming, relaxing about it. Why don't we do that anymore?
Anyway… Eventually I got one, turns out they were mostly a cheap gimmick, at least the ones mass advertised. The compass fell out of its socket. The saw broke shortly after cutting one tree. I lost the fishing line. I’m sure I burned up the matches doing some dumb thing I did as a kid. And, to top it off, one day when I was throwing it--of course I was throwing it, cuz that's what Rambo and Crocodile Dundee did--the handle, which was nothing but cheap plastic, shattered.
But, for a spell, I felt like Crocodile Dundee or Rambo. I guess.
Crocodile Dundee. Along with the crocodile-tooth banded hat and gator-skin vest, his knife was the one of those things every 80’s kid wanted. (I also wanted an Indiana Jones whip, but that is neither here nor there.) Another great iconic knife was the Rambo knife. Sharp blade on one side, jagged edge on the other. The guy could use it, and it alone, and survive for years out in the wild. Setting booby traps, hunting up some food, and sticking it to his enemies.
Thus, (letting my mind wander back to the 80’s like everyone else seems to be doing right now) one of the decades biggest fads was The Survivor knife. Here's the original ad. 12 inches--yes a full foot--of manliness. Razor sharp blade (so they said) on one side, and a jagged saw side on the other with some sort of notch near the handle. I never knew what that notch was for. I remember someone telling me it had something to do with fishing.
But wait… there was more. As if an entire foot of rough toughness wasn’t enough. At the end of the handle, the was a liquid precision compass, letting you know where you are and where you’re going. In addition, it came with the companion survival kit cleverly hidden within the handle of the knife.
What was in the kit? Why, everything you needed to survive. An emergency fishing kit. (Fishing string and some hooks.) A sewing repair kit. (When sewing stuff is inside a knife, then it becomes manly.) A survival cable saw. And Waterproof matches. Plus, they’d throw in a sheath with a sharpening stone.
Sharpening stones… I remember sitting on our front porch running a knife blade over sharpening stones for hours. There was something calming, relaxing about it. Why don't we do that anymore?
Anyway… Eventually I got one, turns out they were mostly a cheap gimmick, at least the ones mass advertised. The compass fell out of its socket. The saw broke shortly after cutting one tree. I lost the fishing line. I’m sure I burned up the matches doing some dumb thing I did as a kid. And, to top it off, one day when I was throwing it--of course I was throwing it, cuz that's what Rambo and Crocodile Dundee did--the handle, which was nothing but cheap plastic, shattered.
But, for a spell, I felt like Crocodile Dundee or Rambo. I guess.
Perhaps, no one dares market such tools to boys anymore. I guess if they're just going to pawn off cheap junk knives, perhaps it is a good thing. The cheap stuff from our day is way much better than cheap stuff now.
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