Goal-Oriented Outgoing vs. Organic Outgoing

Both my wife and I are generally outgoing individuals (although I've had a tendency to be less so lately). When I say outgoing, neither of us are afraid to introduce ourselves to others and strike up a conversation. Yet, although we are both outgoing, the way we go about our conversations is a lot different. She is what I would call a goal-oriented outgoing person. I'm what you could call a organic outgoing person. The other day, I met a person who was more of an introvert, and started pondering the different approaches the two types of personalities have as they speak. Both have some advantages and disadvantages. I'm sure there's some Briggs-Myers personality types that also explain this, but I'm going to throw out my own observation.


The Goal-Oriented Outgoing. 

As the name would suggest, goal-oriented outgoing individuals mingle about with a purpose in mind. "Why am I talking to this person?" This type might ask. The way I defined it sounds cold, but this is not necessarily the case. (Perhaps it sounds cold to me because I'm an organic outgoing individual.) Now, for instance, the goal of such an individual could be simply to get to know another person. That is a noble goal, but still a goal. Thus, goal-oriented outgoing individuals are focused on getting conversations to where they (and often those they are talking to) want them to be. In our busy culture, a lot of time people just want to get to the point. These individuals make great salespeople, and leaders. And, they don't mind silence. "If there is nothing that needs to be said, why say it?" Thus, these types of individuals are less likely to engage in small talk, but will if it serves a purpose. In addition, they are more likely to confront, because philosophically they believe conversations are primarily a means to solve problems. That doesn't mean it has to be some sort of great-injustice problem, it could be as simple as, "I don't know you, but I want to. Let's fix that."

There are disadvantages with this personality type. Goal-oriented outgoing individuals can come across as cold. A person with whom they are speaking may wander off track, excited about a certain topic, and the goal-oriented outgoing person might interrupt them to get the topic back on subject. Or, they might simply blurt out that "important" information right as an organic outgoing individual is talking, so "they don't forget".  This is can be interpreted (particularly by the organic outgoing), "They don't think what I'm saying is important." Perhaps at other times, goal-oriented outgoing people can come off as pushy or lecturing, particularly when individuals object to their goals. You know, like that sales guy who keeps stacking on reasons why you should buy their product, when you don't really want to. And, sometimes the goal-oriented outgoing can make others feel as if they are simply rungs on a ladder. "You're only talking to me in order to get what you want."

The Organic Outgoing. 

These individuals like conversation for the sake of conversation. They may enjoy talking as well. They simply like to get involved in a conversation and see where it goes. They are great at small talk and often love to discover new things. (Not to say a goal-oriented outgoing person doesn't, but when they're out to discover new things, it's usually the goal.) In turn, they can make others feel as if what they have to say is important, by adding to the conversation and being happy just talking. They tend to be more improvisational and are great at asking open-ended questions, ones that have no agenda apart from, "I want to know what you have to say about this." Because of their general interest in exploring conversations, they'll have a broader range of knowledge (yet, it is often less intricate). They are not bound by a "What do I need to know?" mentality. These individuals often make good teachers and counselors and work great in hospitality/entertainment related fields.

Now, just because organic outgoing people do not prefer to have a goal-oriented approach, does not mean they do not have goals. Really deep down, we often have goals when we talk to others. But, they are often afraid to simply tell others of those goals. So, in turn, they often scheme and plot to try to naturally lead a conversation where they want it to go. For example, when I was younger, I couldn't just get myself to go to a girl and ask her out directly, I had to have that awkward conversation with her first. And, often I'd chicken out... Or, another example may be when this type of personality wants to try to convince them of a more controversial matter, i.e. politics. They won’t out right say, you need to vote for so-and-so, for such-and-such reason. In turn, such individuals come across as flighty or vain, causing a goal-oriented individual to say, "get to the point already" or, "talk about something important"
 
In addition, organic outgoing individuals are less likely to confront issues, and react poorly to confrontation or criticism. This doesn't mean they always blow up, they often simply shut down, or quickly but insincerely apologize. This mentality stems from the fact that a conversation is something to be enjoyed. Thus, they tend to want to escape or avoid unpleasant conversations. In addition, organic outgoing individuals are less inclined to enjoy silence. Sure, silence can be good, and is often necessary, but to the organic outgoing individual, silence between two people can be like sitting arm's length from a delectable treat, yet not being able to eat it. Or, when they are silent, it may simply be a means to avoid unpleasant conversation.

I'd like to speak more on this, but... well... What's new in your life?